Saturday, June 30, 2012

it's been five days since you laughed at me

So, it's been one week since the big wedding-do. Since we didn't go the whole traditional route post-wedding (or with anything, really) in terms of a honeymoon and whatnot...I've had some time going about my regular business to ruminate on what it is we just accomplished.

And not much has changed. Honestly, I didn't expect it to feel any different shifting from "non married" to "married", so it's not really surprising that life is just as it always has been. I will say however, that it has given a sense of "newness" to the relationship, as it's the first major change since we moved in together 5 years ago. I am definitely ok with this overall feeling though...I sort of feel like the fantasy that is perpetuated through a big fancy wedding doesn't necessarily give a good landing pattern when it's time to actually put in the hard work of having a good relationship. Life isn't about tulle and pink and champagne toasts...it's about laughing off the rain and thunder soaked ceremony, getting mud on your new heels and not giving a shit, and knowing that even if the tent rips out from the ground and food is flying off tables, your new husband is still standing there holding your hand and laughing with you.

I asked Josh what his favorite part of the wedding was...and he told me that he was panicked about the thunderstorm impeding on the ceremony, and worried about how I was handling it. When I came running into the tent with my parents, laughing my ass off at how completely ridiculous the situation was, he felt peace and knew that for him, he was marrying the best woman in the world for him. That, to me, is what a marriage should be, and has always been for us for the last 10 years...plus one week.

I think if anything has really changed since being married is that for the first time ever, I gave Josh one of my colds. Maybe that's what marriage is about too. Sharing germs?

Also, as a semi-official announcement...I have kept my last name. I am not a "Mrs." of any kind. I feel that part of my identity lies in my name, first, last, or otherwise, and have no desire to change that. I also am not a Mrs, because while it is something that many women feel comfortable being addressed as, I do not. When in doubt, just call me by my first name...just don't call me late for dinner. ;)

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