I'm coming up on the first anniversary of the "big lifechanging event". I find myself semi-aware of the upcoming date...aware enough to know I'm still recovering from the fallout, but ignorant enough of it to recognize that I've come a long way. It doesn't drive every decision anymore, every thought, every emotion. It doesn't infiltrate my sleep or my waking hours.
I don't cry about it anymore. I took measures to learn how to be more assertive (a work in progress!), to remember that I wasn't at fault. I even initially thought my end goal was to forgive the person who caused me all this turmoil...but I realized that it shouldn't be my responsibility to forgive her. I have, however, come to the realization that I feel terribly sorry for her. I think that's enough.
I am a (the?) better person though, for this experience. I turned an awful, terrible, no good situation into a learning opportunity, to prove to myself that I could be strong. And now I'm happy and healthy. I have successes in my personal and professional life. And for once, I know that it is entirely possible something terrible could happen again tomorrow, but I'll get through it anyway and kick ass while doing so.
All the (very) old feelings of revenge have subsided...because what I've done is the best revenge possible.
I survived.
